Monday, July 26, 2010

Sporty Shorty



Oooh! I've always loved a jock.
HOWEVER...
If I seen my man in one of these, he'd be giving me SOMETHING
'Cept it WOULDN'T be
COCK.
"_`

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Barks and Recreation



Ever been enthralled with stuff...
That had Paws. Claws...or Fluff?
Treated 'em like Lil' Dolls and such
For their love you'll take a Pause to touch... ???


Well, if not you (howcouldjoo?!), meet Brittany Barker.
A chihuahua's Champion. A horse's Heroin. The teeniest kitten's never quittin' her Love's emittin'. With any and all pets, she's smitten. ('cept the slimy ones)

Have a heart and help Miss Brit raise fund$ to support the continuing efforts of the San Diego Humane Society and SPCA.
On Saturday, May 1st, held down by (y)our donation$, Brit will peticipate in the Society's annual 2010 Walk for Animals.

Got a dolla? HOLLA! 10? SPEND! Twenty? GIMME! I mean, "Give it to Brit!"
Any and every contribution, no matter how high or low, will help the effort!

$$$ RAI$E THE RUFF! $$$
(And if you DO, say #teambarker sentcha!)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

BIG BODY-ODY!


Didja see me?
I'm F A M O U S.

**shouts to my Phya girl for the feature. Here's to hoping I rep'd the Thick Snack Brigade with pride and honor. HOLLER!**

Monday, February 22, 2010

Three-OH! Flow

High.
**waves excitedly**
Remember MOI?
NO?! :'(

QUIT LYIN'!
...or truth-telling. :'(

I apologize for my absence. But Life has been calling and I've been pressing "Talk."
I've been through so much, GREAT and TRAGIC since the last time I graced this blog with my portly presence.
The biggest of it being that I-Lover of all things wild, crazy, and 20s-has left that stage of life to turn 30.
THREE-OH! FLOW!
**three fingers being thrown in.yo.FAAACE**

I'm now happily comfy in my 3rd decade and like my family, friends, Sushi, 2-Buck Chuck, vintage accessories, and fashion-forward fat items on DEEP discount:
I'M LOVIN' IT!

Read more about my journey to accepting that I'm no longer a 20-something here
(Shouts and Shots to ThePBG for bringing light to my Life's flight. I heart her. And you will, too.)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Chris Blouse



By now you've all seen the Chris Brown apology video where he could have spared us the two minutes of bullshit boo-hoo'ing in a bitch blouse by simply exclaiming:

"Mama, I Wanna SAING!...and get the chance to perform a Michael Jackson tribute on the MTV Awards!!!"
(If you ain't seen it, find it at a YouTube near you. Ok, FUCK IT! Here, ya lazy bumbaclot!)

If you've visited the mean TWeets of Twitter lately, you know TWiggaz have been going in AND out over Chris's Crybaby Couture. First thing I Tweeted after I seen it:
"To show us JUST how sorry he is, Chris is rocking the same shirt his mom got HER azz beat in back in 1988. I hear you, Chris. I HEAR YOU."

Yeah, it wasn't right, but it's ok. (Word to Whitney and crazy bitches like Britney!)

Although Chris's star power's been in serious jeopardy since using his fists like wartime weaponry, his Bitch Blouse is EVERYWHERE...overnight!

Last night, while lampin' @ChateauSAV minding my own and shit, I heard Bitch Blouse gettin' BIZZY on its VERY OWN MIXTAPE.
Think I'm lying?


Google that ish! ...And if your results come up short like late child support, here's an excerpt of some HOT FIYAH that MC Bitch Blouseki spit over Weezy's shit:



I am a long-sleeved, bitch red blouse/Please forgive Chris before we lose our house/
And Lambo/Yeah, he slammed the bitch head like his name was Kimbo/But it wasn’t his fault/She talked that shit to that window!”


PUTCHA LIGHTAZ UP!